ASEAN,, PMR, what BIG words~

I knw rite
Not s'pposed to be here
Promised last post before

Anyway, (sigh)
There's so much in my mind that I feel as if I almost can't focus
So I need to let it all out
Before PMR

If u haven't known already
I got offered to de ASEAN Scholarship
In Singapore
I feel so lost n helpless
Trying to decide whether to fill up de

Form of Acceptance

Or

Form of Rejection

=.=

Slot in --> Anyway, this is so hard
                 Renewing my blog
                 While trying to shield it from my parents :P


I even made a list of pros n cons
A.K.A. Reasons of Why I should Go (Pros) & Reasons of Why I Shouldn't (Cons)
Coincidentally, I got 11 points each =.=
And I became a really good lawyer last night
Debating against myself over & over lats night
+ presenting de points to my parents n ask 'em to give me an answer by tonight :P
Still, they asked for one more day =.=
So be it

I wanna try it out
But then I get scared
I'm certain that I'll get homesick very soon
And I'll miss my family & friends so, so much
+ I won't be able to continue my paino & mental arithmetic lessons
I've got 2 more grades to go for mental arithmetic & that's such a waste!
My piano, I was preparing for Grade 6 next year & i was aiming for distinction~! >_<
One more thing,

"No bond attached to the scholarship."

Sounds interesting?
But if u fail to do well there, ur scholarship will be terminated
U'll be kicked back here
And u'll not wanna live (tatz me :P)
And ur(my) parents will hv to pay for it~!
;(
I'm scared that I might bcum one of those people whose husband n wife = books
No wayy~!
My oppas forever~! :P

Still, looking back
It feels as if it wasn't easy getting it
True enough, I never knew what I did
But I might not be able to do it for a 2nd time

Still, I'm not de most independent of all
In fact, I'm NOT independent at all
And do they have a thing against students who intrude their country, rank n tax?
I'm hell worried.
I can't last in a hell.
I know myself, I'm too soft for that. >_<
And I'll not survive either if sports is wayy important there.
It's not that I'm not willing to try
I simply have NO talent in that, u got it?!

See how torturing it is to debate against myself?!
This is mind vs soul. =.=

Conclusion:
You think I should go?
You sure do.
I still have no idea!
Why don't u go with me instead? <3

We arranged the seats for PMR this morning
My seat is at de last 3rd row, 2nd column from the right
Weird place =.=
And I'm soooo hell far from my girls
At least I'm surrounded by my classmates :)

I'm not having too high hopes for PMR either
I wouldn't wanna freak myself out
I'll keep my thought this way

A mark gained is a mark gained. It's way better than handing in an empty sheet of paper.

See how desperate I am? >_<

One more thing, I did not come from an English-spoken family
And I realized that my English is getting weirder & weirder every day =.=
Shit